Getty Images Share Tweet Pin For some couples, the idea of having sex with anyone other than your significant other seems unfathomable. But believe it or not, it can, and there are more couples interested in doing it than you may realize. Below, four women get real about what their own swinging experiences were really like. Nicole has been with her husband for 18 years and they've been swinging for How she got into it: My husband knew that I was bi-curious when we met, so on the anniversary of our first date, we decided to explore and went to a swingers club.
Not all experiences were percent pleasurable, so we made an effort to have those conversations and keep the lines of communication open. When you talk about [swinging] it makes it so much easier to discuss other issues in the relationship.
Also, you need to have conversations with your spouse or partner before you go into it. Know your rules and limits before you get into a situation because you can't really get upset with your partner if you didn't talk about. One day he forgot to log off the computer and I looked at his browser. I saw some sites that I was not familiar with, but I was appalled by what a saw. Some time later, I confronted him about it. He explained to me what swinging was, but I furthered my knowledge by reading everything I could.
I then told him that if he had just talked to me about it, it was something I could be open to. Swinging changed me personally for the better. I exclusively date swingers now because I meet a much better class of men. They really honor and respect women. It will only make things worse. If you have a good marriage, dip your toes in the water.
Attend a meet and greet or other event. The swinger couples I know have absolutely amazing marriages. For a single woman, you'll meet the best men ever, but take it slow and make sure you take the usual dating precautions. What's the Big Deal? Julia Allen, co-founder of StockingsVR , was 24 when she first walked into a swingers club and has now been swinging for 25 years.
We didn't do anything except dance and talk to some people the first night, but it was exciting and I couldn't wait to go back. A few months later, on New Year's Eve, we had a hotel room and invited a few people up.
It was packed and before I knew it, everyone was having sex all around me. A lovely woman wanted to play with me and my boyfriend. I loved watching him with her and having him watch me with her, and then both of us just getting lost in the whole experience. I loved the experience of being able to have sex outside of my relationship. Swinging takes care of all of my sex needs.
I really feel that it strengthens every relationship. I don't view sex as something that you only have with someone you love. I think every boyfriend I've had has felt the same way. I guess you could say that swinging has enriched my relationships and also enriched my life.
Most people who are new to swinging don't actually have sex. They like to watch. In a swingers club, no really does mean no. Many times, I've had men or women approach me and if I don't feel like it, I just say no. You can explore any fantasy you have at a swingers club. I would suggest for first timers to try a larger club where there are lots of people. People who go to swingers clubs are normal people who you would never guess in a million years are swingers.
About 90 percent of people who swing are married with kids and just want to try walking on the wild side together. In the beginning, when I was younger, it felt awkward based on my inability to be assertive about my wants and needs. It felt more like that group sex stereotype that you might see on TV or in porn I think one mistake some people make is assuming that swinging has only one meaning, but it's something that is totally open to interpretation.
Some of my most intimate, fulfilling encounters lately have been 'soft swap' — meaning I have sex with my primary partner, and have foreplay only with our 'guests. Compare it to the way your partner perceives things, and before you proceed, have an honest discussion. Overall, if you find yourself wanting to try this later on in life, go for it! It may reawaken you and give you a sexual second wind. It's never too late. There are people of all ages, all body types, all colors, who come from a variety of backgrounds looking for like-minded people.