Yes, I am human! Or how to make it go away. And how do you make these feelings go away? Retroactive jealousy, retrograde jealousy , retrospective jealousy are all names for the same thing: Being obsessed with her ex, however, is more of a classically female preoccupation as it stems from anxieties about being left to rear a child alone.
Retroactive jealousy, however, is not restricted to internal emotions. The real damage to a relationship can be done when external actions are added to the symptoms. Many sufferers of retroactive jealousy OCD , also like to talk to their partner about the past, pick fights, make snide comments, accuse them of being sluts, etc.
Why am I suffering from a retroactive jealousy disorder? There can be a number of reasons why an individual may find themselves in need of some retroactive jealousy help. However, on a broader level there are also many other factors that can play into the condition, such as societal norms and expectations, evolution, genes, the way the brain works, and so on.
Overcoming retroactive jealousy is relatively simple. Judgement is one of the key emotions that drives retroactive jealousy and so learning to let it go is of primary importance. However, when judgement takes hold of one thing in particular and refuses to let it go, it can become a problem. Your mind has learned certain snippets of information about her past, and now has been unable to move on ever since.
In order to do this, it can be helpful to return to some of the most ancient and yet beneficial philosophical arguments ever articulated. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now. Here are some thoughts on the subject from mentalist and illusionist, Derren Brown: That interpretation might involve a snap judgement or a more complex narrative that we tell ourselves, but it is this stage in the proceedings that leads to our problems.
And judgments are simply stories we tell ourselves in order to make sense of the world. Ultimately, our limited mind has no idea whether or not something is good or bad. It can only grasp on what has happened in the past and then, by calculating all those things, make sense of the moment here and put a label on it as good or bad, right or wrong, awesome or not.
Alternatively, I also have a book and course that will help you finally put these negative thoughts and emotions behind you once and for all.