We've all suffered bed death at some point Image: Could not subscribe, try again laterInvalid Email It's the age old question - how much sex should I be having? We all seem obsessed with knowing if we're doing it enough - a kind of sexual keeping up with the Jones's - but is there really a 'normal' amount you should be having sex and should you be worried about how much you are or aren't doing it?
A figure often mentioned as an average is 2. That is less than women, but still more than half of those surveyed, so we must be doing something right. Almost half of those surveyed thought they should be having more sex, each week, with tiredness and children the main culprits stopping people.
A year study published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in found that couples who had sex once a week were happiest, which came as a surprise to many. Lead researcher Amy Muise said: Getty Images But Muise added that regardless of the frequency of sex, it's important that partners should discuss whether their sexual needs are being met, saying: Read More "She's a wonderful lover": Teenager, 19, who married year-old grandmother reveals when they first had sex So perhaps we should all just learn to be content with what we can get so to speak.
But if you and your partner feel that you are not making the most of each other, try these ways to make your love life more fulfilling How can I improve my sex life? Take time to have sex This may sound blindingly obvious but many couples, especially those with children , can get so wrapped up in the day to day issues of life that they forget to take time out for each other.
If you climb into bed together try not to just fall asleep Image: Maybe take a bath together or share a glass of something nice to get in the mood. Talk to each other or if you really are pushed for time skip the talking and just head straight for the sack.
The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, points out in the Huffington Post that sex is not always spontaneous, and sometimes you have to kick start your life in the bedroom before you're in the mood.
You need to commit to generating some kind of arousal through kissing, making out, dancing, reading erotica or watching porn that may lead to desire. Be willing to generate arousal and see where it goes.
To be fair if you have been in a relationship for many years there are probably times when you really don't want the other person, we all get that. But try to remember the person you fell for in the first place. Tell them something nice, give them a kiss, hold their hand or surprise them with a small gift, anything to make them feel loved. Stop worrying about how often other couples are having sex Everyone is different and we all have peaks and troughs in our love lifes.
Although it might be frustrating to lie in bed with a book listening to your neighbours try and dismantle your party wall with their bedhead, just remember they will probably have a dry spell soon as well. Just worry about your own patterns. Video Loading Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8Cancel Play now If you have been having sex twice a week for a few years but then that dwindles to once a month, that is the time to have a conversation about your sex life, as every couple is unique and only you know what suits you as a pair.
Think about why you might not want sex If you're the one in the relationship who is not willing to initiate sex or pushes your other half away, then take some time to think about why you might be doing it. There could be many reasons why you're having a dip in your libido, physical and psychological, so focus on yourself and figure out what they might be.
Write down your fantasies Would this feature on your list? Think of an experience or a film or book that got you aroused and share that with your partner. This is a gentle way to ease sexual fantasies into your lives and could open the doors to some interesting nights of passion. Don't be critical during sex nothing is more of a passion killer than being told you're not getting it right in the sack, so if you feel your partner isn't pressing the right buttons, tell them in a positive way rather than criticising.
Focus on the things you do like them doing and gently encourage them away from things that aren't working for you. Like us on Facebook.