My father is the father of my daughter Date: I was only nine years old when my father started having sex with me. I really cannot explain how it all started but there was no violence and he did not force me. In fact a neighbour told me he was madly in love with me. I met him a couple of times and one day he asked me to accompany him to the shop. To my surprise, he did not take me to the shop but to a bush nearby and he raped me there.
I did not tell anybody about my traumatic experience. Soon after this terrible experience my father started to have sex with me. This lasted for nearly four years.
I cannot explain why I accepted and why he did it. Maybe I thought it was normal because he was my father. He was not violent and has never taken off my clothes by force. Nobody knew about this. But one day while I was cleaning the house I could feel my cousin staring at me. She could not take her eyes off me. I started to question her and she said that she saw that something inside me turning around.
I was taken aback and said there was nothing under my dress. She insisted that she saw something and came closer to me to touch my stomach. We were both horrified to learn that indeed there was something inside me. She immediately told my mother and my uncle accompanied us to the doctor.
The Doctor confirmed that I was six months pregnant. The baby was born by caesarean. I stayed in hospital for a few days and at the same time the Child Protection Unit did an enquiry. After the hospital instead of returning home I was sent to the shelter with my baby. I was told that my father went to prison because he should not have had sex with me.
I am very happy at the shelter with my beautiful little girl but unfortunately I cannot participate in the activities of the shelter as I have to look after my baby. My mentors are very caring and they have taught me how to look after my baby. They are even prepared to look after my baby so that I can participate in one or two events but I cannot go out for training, for example. I am positive about myself and count my blessings that my life is not completely ruined.
I find other things to do while the others go for yoga or theatre classes. I enjoy gardening and last year I got a little plot of land in the garden of the shelter and planted some herbs. Seeing my plants flourishing gave me great pleasure. My sadness is that I would love to follow a class in theatre but cannot as I have to take care of my baby.
Who knows may be one day when I go out of the shelter I will able to start a new life. I have been told that once I turn 18 my case will go to court and I will most probably be able to live on my own if I so wish. My uncle told me that he has bought a piece of land for me. My nani has agreed to look after my baby so that I can undergo some kind of training to allow me to get a job. I want my daughter to live a normal life.
Go to school and have a good education. If my father wants to see his daughter I will not refuse. On the contrary the baby is his as well and he must be able to care for her and I sincerely hope that once he gets out of prison he will at least give some financial help so that the baby can have a good quality of life.