Suzanne Wiebe Dating Excellent article. I would just add one thing. God meant that women should enjoy sex as well.
No matter how you 'reach a peak' - there is no 'wrong' way between a hsuband and wife. God made everyone different and no one was made wrong. Especially that we are all different and that there is no right or wrong way to reach a peak. I cannot share that much because I am different to most and don't want to put it out to the moral test but my wife is very comfortable with our activities and that is the important thing.
Each to his own speaks a lot to me. Arguing what's right or wrong in the bedroom never seems to get very far it seems. I liked your article. I have been married for 4 years. I have a genetic defect that makes intercourse excruciatingly painful and pretty much impossible. We have had sex because I love him and want him to feel our love. And yes I believe in oral, manual sex as a way to enjoy each other.
I thought there was no hope for me until this year I finally found a doctor who said surgery with cure the pain. So I have had the surgery and it went great. So someday, like in 7 months hopefully I will be having pain-free sex. My husband has said he is "foreplayed out' He wants intercourse.
But is always willing to wait and not force things. As you know, no sex act between husband and wife is sinful in and of itself. As my husband and I discovered while I was recovering from an unfortunate injury to my vaginal area, anal sex can give him the feeling of intercourse its a little different, but closer , be fufilling to you both physically he can hit your g-spot that way if he does it right and emotionally feeling of closeness and for you, feeling of giving a special part of yourself.
Anal sex was so good for us that we made it a regular part of our sexual reportire even after I was able to have vaginal sex again. May God bless you and your husband as you work trhough this difficult time. I reply Guest I am not a christian but I don't believe in oral sex.
It's just disgusting, I mean how can you put a mans penis in your mouth or your mouth in a womans vagina. That is the same place where you take a piss or even catch illnesses thrush, inflammation, itchiness because of bacteria, herpes etc. These are places where natural bacteria are living and what more is when people place their mouths in it, they are taking them in.
And what about the ejaculated liquid that comes out, if you take that in you are risking yourself to many diseases. Do you remember Sodom and Gomorrah. God punished them because they used to practice such things. Why do you think AIDS is common in homosexuals? If you say it is now common in heterosexuals as well then I guess you are missing the point: I am a Christian and believe that Sodomy is wrong, Amusingly enough it says it in the bible.
After a lot of research online this one makes complete sense. God inspired, well-written, honest and Bible-based. I pray that God will keep on giving you insight regarding marriage because you are truly helping a lot of people.
Don't be swayed by naysayers or modern day pharisees. I am really enlightened and comforted by what I have read here. Thanks again, and God Bless! Not all answers are good ones as I have found a site that not only says it is OK which is what I wanted to hear but that "Christian Porn" is OK and that a threesome as long as the man only had sex with his wife was OK.
So be VERY careful since there are some absurd websites out there. Search the Scriptures and pray and I believe we will find the answers we are looking for. Since the Bible does not specifically address these issues we must look at principles. That means in our own maturity we must decide with much prayer what is holy, undefiled and honorable. Hey, if life was easy what fun would it be? Search the Scriptures daily as the Bereans did and trust in Jesus Christ and you can't go wrong.
For those who are new to marriage. I have been married 16 years the second time. We waited until our wedding night for sex should've abstained from smooching until then too. The first couple of years was great and then the children came into the picture. Diapers and bottles and such put a damper on romance. When that was over I thought it was my turn for some attention again but was wrong. I do not know was was wrong with my wife as she paid me little attention for many years. I still showed her much affection and got little in return.
After much frustration and many fights things slowly got better. They are still getting better as I have a new job that takes me out of town during the week until we are ready to move and I am not around to "bug" her about sex. I look forward to it getting better yet in the future. Also I see a lot of discussion on men spilling their seed during oral sex being a sin And what of women's masterbation? Since they have no "seed" to spill is it a sin for them to orgasm without their husband?
What if they "help " their husband because they cannot have an orgasm with intercourse alone? There are many things I see like this that are potential grey areas and to me the bottom line would be to keep a happy marriage for both partners. If they engage in oral or anal sex together I just can't see God condemning them for it.
Scriptures say it is a sin for man to spill his seed. Oral sex - if the seed is not in the woman's vigina -- is absolutely sinful. Sex between a man and woman is to express love AND be open to God's gift of new life -- an eternal soul. Oral sex is just using a spouse as a sex object, without any procreation possible. It is a sin.
The author needs to study scriptures more. He was too take his brothers widow and give into her because he was next in line. He did not agree with the setup and avoided getting pregnant with his sister-in-law and now wife. That is where the punishment was for. Some have also questioned that if this be true how do you turn off your desires to you husband or wife if both are in agreement. That may also increase the chance of adultery coming and tearing the family apart because the devil will do anything and any excuse to tear the family apart.
And I say this to not manipulate your spouse because that is not right either couples should be on the same accord with prayer at all times and God will help them compromise to a solution that both are able to live with, comfortably. God bless you Mich. It doesn't say "it's wrong for a man to spill his seed" in so many words. It say's Onan spilled his seed, and the Lord struck him down.
It wasn't the spilling of the seed, but refusing to bear children from his brother as was his duty, that he was punished for. He was taking advantage of his privilege without fulfilling the obligation that privilege was based on.
She was not his wife to be his wife, as most are, but as a brother's widow, she was his wife to continue his brother's lineage. Mich needs to study scriptures more, and not make up commandments.
So much of the Bible is misunderstood because we fail to look at things with a little logic. Lisa raised the question about is it OK for a woman to masturbate no seed to spill as opposed to a man with seed to spill. A little logic or common sense goes a long way. God is not stupid and is not trying to make things complicated, we do a good job of doing that.
Masturbation, if it is wrong would not be the physical act so-called Onan's Sin but the inappropriate fantasy that goes with it. Here's one for Mich, Is it a sin to drink wine? No where in the Bible does it outright forbid this to the average person, only against getting drunk. Study the Word of God and use some sense. Suzanne Wiebe Dating God created people for intimacy, which is defined 'only' by the couple involved.
The bible needs to be taken in context of the culture. The bible states that a slave girl may be taken as a wife - and elsewhere, that a man must consummate his marriage within the first days. But if a man forced child he could be put to death.
It also says that the curtains must be drawn. If you look at the message of the bible, it is about building relationships and what happens when they go wrong. Each of us can 'pick and choose' scriptures and turn them not a law. But, if you read the NT, Jesus loathed the religious leaders who did that.
Sadly this is rarely addressed in the Christian culture.