Continue Reading Below Advertisement It's a sad state of affairs that teachers having sex with students is about as common as baseball players using steroids or internet comedy writers going to sleep cold and alone.
However, we can chalk that up to folks who are a few a nuggets short of a happy meal. When two teachers get together at school, under a security camera, and have sex, that's just plain stupid.
Leroy Coleman , Principal of Sandridge Elementary school, decided that going a few rounds with a teacher at his school in his office would be a grand idea and thus ran through the standard porno line up of positions.
Even though he was married, he did this several times, and with different women, because the position of "school principal" is evidently kryptonite to all women. The man had the presence of mind to get his boning done behind closed doors and with no children present, but he neglected to turn off or even avoid the security camera pointed directly at his desk.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement Video of the event was later released forcing him and his co-stars to resign, all of them citing either "illness" or "family issues" as their reasons. We like to imagine they just switched careers.
However, even the most mundane and vanilla scenarios get a boost when you toss in a vacuum named Henry that has a face on it. A passing security guard saw the man defiling the machine and requested that he clean himself and the Hoover up before leaving the premises.
In fairness, Henry was totally asking for it. Continue Reading Below 4 On a Crane Have you ever stared at a construction crane and thought to yourself "Man, I'd like to have me some sex on that"? Congratulations, you're just like Justin Dunn and Nicole Albert , a couple from Florida who climbed up on a crane, in the middle of the day, to bump uglies. No, the other kind of crane. But that would've been weird, too. Several witnesses, after squinting to ensure they were seeing what they thought they were seeing, called police who arrived and had to use a public address system to talk the couple down, presumably because none of the officers wanted to climb all the way up and risk high altitude bodily fluids splatting them in the eyes.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement Dramatic reenactment. The couple got off ha! They were told to try to be somewhat more discrete from now on, which we assume means they'll be sticking to double decker buses, tree tops and hot air balloons for the foreseeable future.
So sexy in fact that a myriad of customers have been unable to control themselves and just had to let their own curly fry flop out so they could smack it around some. Kenneth Michael Dobbs got the Arby's urge in Decatur and went through the drive-thru butt-ass naked with one hand working his crank and then returned a couple of days later to do the exact same thing, because Arby-Qs are a twice a week obsession at least.
Don't you just want to masturbate right now? Unfortunately for Dobbs, though the employees of Arby's are apparently stoked to see how excited their customers get, a police officer was parked nearby on his second trip, noticed the curious lack of clothing, and pulled the man over. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Pretty much the exact same thing happened in Tennessee as well when a self-loving customer spun through the drive-thru once, then again a couple of weeks later.
Others have been caught masturbating in drive-thrus for McDonald's, Burger King and probably every other fast food drive-thru, completely oblivious to the obvious flaw in their planning. While you may be able to get away with running into an In n Out burger with your penis in your hand, going through the drive-thru with an easily identifiable license plate slapped to the back of your car pretty much ensures that your left hand better be fast and furious if you hope to finish before the cops arrive.
And since we're not talking about one unfortunate soul venturing to pick up some errant soap while a comrade saddles up behind him in an intimate and unwanted fashion, we won't even mention it. What we are talking about is something like what happened to public defender Theresa Olson when she took it upon herself to give her client a ride in a jail conference room.
Still, when you're in the midst of discussing a murder trial with the man accused of beating his parents and sister to death, it may be best to wait for some comically appropriate time to sneak into a judge's chambers or such instead of just giving the man a poke in full view of jail guards who weren't made aware of what zany David E. Kelly hijinks to expect. In fact, of all the places one could have sex, few have worse potential consequences for the couple involved with the possible of exceptions of inside volcanoes, on the back of a bull or at a communal shower in an old folks home.
Continue Reading Below Advertisement Or any combination of the three. Nonetheless, a couple in South Africa were getting busy on the tracks, deciding that humping out in lion country or in a parasite filled pool was too boring for them. As you might expect, the evening ended poorly for them when a train pulled into the station where the couple was at. Trains, being rather hard to stop, aren't good at bobbing and weaving around sweaty bodies in their path.
As such, the conductor on the train shouted out the window for the couple to move. The couple, deciding that finishing was a superior choice to living, continued what they were doing as the train rolled over them. The end result was probably that particular train conductor having the most horrible image ever burned into his mind, next to that old folks communal shower thing.
More of Fortey's writing can be found at Scenic Anemia.